This weekend was full of ups and downs. I just had no idea how huge the emotional journey is having a baby and all the feelings that come with that. There were some I definitely expected. I knew I would miss my parents, as I just cannot believe he will never know them. I knew I was bound to feel a bit tearful here and there and that I would feel lonely with our families not being here. What I did not expect is just how life altering a baby is and that I would struggle with my own identity. I do not know what I thought, that a baby would just appear and life would carry on just as I knew it??? I am not complaining as I am so very thankful, but it is an adjustment as i learn to somehow be a mother and Amanda at the same time.
My first big shock was giving up wine not only for the pregnancy, but also after. iI seems my wine bottles have now been replaced with these ones. This may seem trivial to most people (as it probably should) but I guarantee if you ask most people who have known me for years, a wine glass in one hand is how they would describe me.
Exercise and sports has always been a huge part of my life. I had all these grand ideas about running races, playing tennis, and Muay Thai after the pregnancy. But really my exercise regime now entails carrying and dancing with this bundle of joy.
And the biggest adjustment of all is somehow going from being the social butterfly I am, to Saturday nights with baby toys and feedings.
I had a weekend of tears and then happiness and then tears again. And I am sure that this is not the end to the emotional roller coaster, but I think I am more prepared now. And also I am not scared of the changes anymore, as I look at the picture above (I love it so much on blog twice), I am one lucky lady to have such a great family.
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